I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it because I queefed?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
