not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
