loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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