My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
