The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
