ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
