when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
