i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
