remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
