Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
