I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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