well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
