I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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