i just had sex bonerless
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
