i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
