i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have fence marks all over my body
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
