she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
