Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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