I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
