I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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