when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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