do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
