I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
