im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
