I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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