Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
