member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
