I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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