Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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