I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
