Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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