Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
