Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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