Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize