forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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