Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
