I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
