when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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