Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
