We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize