better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
