I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
