I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
