I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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