; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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