Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
