eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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