i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My hand turned me down
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
