dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
