youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
