plz talk dirty to me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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