3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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