dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
