Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
