So drunk its hurt
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
