Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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