Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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