Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
