if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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